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<title>Poof, and it's gone</title>
<article>
<p>
Since reading Ray Peat's work and drastically improving my wellbeing, something that had been declining for years, I've
been thinking more and more often about the phenomenon of learned helpless and its relevance to my life. Sometimes,
looking back to past times is useful to help reorient yourself in the present and aim towards a more desirable future.
Sometimes, a new perspective or experience might instantly obliterate previous behaviour without any sort of concerted
mental or physical grunt to eradicate it.
</p>
<p>
On the flipside, I have sometimes hopelessly tried to forcefully change my behaviour, employing all the en vogue self-help tricks
to form long-term habits, only to practically immediately lose them not long afterwards. These kinds of experiences remind me of those
hypnosis advertisements that claim to have you give up smoking after just a few sessions; sometimes it's even after just one visit. There's no short
supply of stories of miracle cures or sudden, permanent breaks of addiction. Cold-turkey clean cuts that seem to arise with no obvious
effort on the part of the addict, no signs of worn willpower.
</p>
<p>
When I was sixteen I spent six weeks abroad in a small town called Marburg in Hesse, Germany. Those six weeks were spent
living with a new family along with my exchange student, who had lived six weeks with me and my family just prior to my
arrival in Germany. Six weeks of school, new acquaintances, a new language (albeit one I had been "studying" in the
Australian school system) and unfamiliar cultural quirks.
</p>
<p>
It was a barrage of stimulation, I came home every day from school and would collapse, totally exhausted, onto my
exchange student's bed, which was mine for the duration of the stay. It's not like I was actually expected to
<i>learn</i> anything or do any homework whilst I was at school here&mdash;I was basically on holidays and could really
have just treated it as such. Plenty of my own friends who had taken a similar trip certainly did. I'm not manyt of them
learnt or used much German beyond <i>Wo ist McDonalds?</i>. But I had been gradually becoming more fascinated with the
structure of German before arriving. Once there, especially at that age I presume, the Deutsch on the blackboard in
biology class looked more like a sophisticated puzzle game than a complete drag of a memorisation task. Each day was a
new game of deductive guesswork, and better still, I got to play with new ideas about how the language works every day
in the schoolyard with new friends I was making. New ways to describe how things are situated and move in relation to
one another, mysterious new prefixes and other linguistic building blocks, and the insane backwards word order of German
provided unlimited entertainment to see if I was up to the challenge.
</p>
<p>
On top of this, I was in the grade just above mine back home in Australia. Whilst that really shouldn't have made much
difference, the amount of responsibility and independece these kids were allowed to exercise at sixteen or seventeen was
nothing short of amazing to my adolescent self. I had never seen anything like it. Some of my classmates would stand out
the front of school during lunchtime and smoke a couple of cigarettes with their own teachers, something that still to
this day I find kind of insane. It certainly would never have been acceptable back at home. Starting in the senior
school, you were allowed to just leave and go home if you didn't have class on, as long as you were back in time. And we
did. School uniforms simply weren't part of the culture either. For everyone else perhaps stressful and another target
of the cruel status games of teenagerhood, but for me it was like every day was casual dress day back home. To top it
all off, the legal drinking age in Germany is sixteen, at least for wine, beer, and other weaker drinks.
</p>
<p>
These classmates of mine were running their own meetings headed by the <i>Klassensprecher</i>, the class representatives, and they actually seemed cool, like people I would like to hang out and befriend. They were
</article>

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<html>
<head>
<meta charset="utf-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
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<link
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